I was just thinking ....
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Finding that special person....
Today has been a time were I have been reflecting on my past relationship. I have nothing to hide I have had one boyfriend and I have been with someone else where there was no title. I have been single for over a year and a half and I was just thinking about why I dont seem to find anyone. I think the time has not presented its self for me to have someone like that in my life. Ive always been a romantic I love romantic gestures and all that stuff. I like to say that Im a hopeless romantic. I like the whole idea of being of finding the right person where things just click and you are able to make a life together. I know that people always say oh when the right time comes you will find that person. Ill be honest I am impatient I want someone one NOW!!! However, today while talking to my guy friend I came to realize that yea the time is not right for me to have someone in my life like that. I must wait and see where life takes me and that person will turn up.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
That first boyfriend ....
I was thinking about that first person that you end up calling your boyfriend or girlfriend. For me it was C and although it was a very short relationship,it only lasted a month. I know that he will forever hold a special place in my heart. Although it didn't work out I think there was alot of things that had to do with us not working out.
I was just thinking about a couple things like will we always be part of each others life's? Or will we eventually drift away and just be a memory in each others life's?
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
... about men today
I have spoken to people about how guys in today's society are not
the same as men back 50 years ago. Other than the obvious times have change of
course things are different but I mean it in the aspect of perseverance and
ambition. To me i grew up with the whole point of view that the man takes care
of his women but with a twist. at least in my case the twist was that yea the
man will take care of you but you should also have your things together were
you can take care of yourself. Being a Hispanic women we are raised to be good
wives take care of our man by tending to his needs and your children’s need. If
any of you are Hispanic or are familiar with the values they are raised those
are basically it. However, in my case I was raised with those values but also thought
that you should be able to provide for yourself and not be dependent on a man.
Not to say that its a bad thing to have a man provide for you but I guess I
have a mother that is more open to change and seeing that some things cant
always be the same and people must change. So basically i grew up with yea take
care of your man but also be an equal.
What I am trying
to get to is that in today’s society it seems like guys are just becoming more
and more lazy. They are just not like the guys from 50 plus years ago that had
2 jobs a girl friend or wife. I have noticed more and more that women seem to
be in higher positions. Just to look back in 2008 we had Hilary Clinton
actually running to be the first women president. Who would have though right?
Or even Sarah Palin.... I feel just by events in my life and people that I have
encountered, guys to be specific, they have settled. They do not have the drive
that guys did back in the day. I just want to know what happened. I know of
guys that are ok living at home at 24+ years old they pay rent but that’s it. They
are ok living at home working a part time job and just not wanting more. It’s
like really? I am a very ambitious person that wants to go places why cant guys
want the same. I am not talking about all guys just some. But still where is
that drive to be someone. To go places. To be something more than, just another
person in this world? I was just thinking....
about growing up...
I was recently having a conversation with my friend J, or as I like to call him "el italiano". Which actually I dont think he knows that, well I guess if he read this he know will. Any ways back to what I was saying I was checking up with him since he is finishing his last year of college and he is in spring break. In our conversation he mentioned he was working all week and really wasn't able to enjoy is Spring Break. I for one have been working non-stop for a year now and for the last two months I have only had lets see... *checks calendar* 8 days off. *gasp* I know but I enjoy what I am doing so I wont complain. Geez I get off track easily going back to our conversation I can understand working non-stop, but then I started thinking thats the real world for you. I actually never though I was actually living in the real world i was just living life. Which I am greatful for because many people get just thrown into it. i am one of the lucky ones that was able to transition smoothly with a couple of bumps in the road into what society likes to call "the real world".
This whole idea of living in the real world got me thinking, when I was younger I always just wanted to grow up and be an "adult". Thinking back although i did enjoy my childhood and i had some great times i think for me personality i was kinda hit with reality when i was 15. for me at least that was the age where i was hit with a sneak peak of the real world.all I wanted to do once I was in 4th grade was to be in 6th grade so i can go to junior high. then from junior high once i was half way through seventh grade all i wanted was to be 15. being 15 to me meant one a quincenera, being hispanic and all, and being in high school. once i was in high school and i was 14 about to be 15 all i wanted to do is to be able to get a job. like i said before that was the age were i was kinda slapped with reality and was one forced to grow up and i was able to see that life isnt always what it seemed to be! growing up isnt a bad thing but when you are forced to grow up unwillingly you are kinda just how should i say this.... hmm.... you are faced to see the world in a new light. its not a bad thing at all it just makes you realize that things are not gummy bears and gum drops as you though they were.
now once i was 16 i was now looking into my future alot more and i tried to focus more one what i needed to do in order to be able to further my education. not to say that i wasnt thinking about it before it just because more pertanate at that time. going to school and turning 18 to me meant freedom, which i think that is what everyone thinks happens when your 18. once i was 18 all i can think of was getting away from home. not because i hated my family or anything of the sort. i love my family but i think just like every hispanic family or parents they can be very sufficating. that was the case for me. i just wanted to taste a different type of freedom. not to say that my parents didnt trust me growing up or they were over protective. no that wasnt the case at all. they were pretty mellow they gave me the right amount of freedom and they trusted me which made me not want to ruin that trust. but leaving for me at 18 was something i wanted to do just because i wanted to get away from the all the negative i had live through when i was 14 till then. leaving meant putting some distance between all the negative which is what i wanted even if it meant leaving my mom and siblings behind. Just like everyone once they turn 19 all they want to do is be 21!!! Why? being 21 means going out drinking having more fun than when u were 18, 19 or 20. for me at least this year i kinda rebeled kinda sorta not really but kinda. haha.
anyways now the point that i am trying to make is that when we are kinds growing up we look up to certain times or turning a certain age but at the same time looking forward to be a certain age or wanting to grow up so fast we dont get to enjoy certain moments as much as we should because we are wanting the time to fly by not realizing that by wanting this we miss out on things that we wont be able to experience.living in the real world is not a bad thing. that is basically what you are doing when you are growing up living life making mistakes and learning from them in order to be able to live in the real world. however, the real world is not as nice as lets say it seemed to be when we where kids. living in the real world means responsibility and being held accountable for what you do. thats all it is. living life and knowing that you have to be responsible so if you get an apartment/house/ or car that means you need to maintain your job in order to have a place to live, food to eat, and a car to drive to get you from point A to point B. If you decide to have a family you have to be responsible and have a job and be able to provide for that family. which means paying for doctors appointments and vitamins, this is while the cupcake is cooking in the oven. then once you have a kid making sure it has clothes, diapers, formula, you take it to the doctor, pay that hospital bill for just having a place to have it, having a car seat, a stroller, bottles, toys, a crib, blankets and i can just go on an on. but basically all it comes to is being responsible and being able to be accountable for what you do. so is the real world really that bad? no at least i dont think it is. it just come down to what you have lived and experienced. just having to be held responsible makes you look back at the days when you were a kid and you were expected to makes mistakes and now you are expected to know better and not do dumb things.
i personality live my life with no regrets or at least i try not to. i might regret doing or saying something but i then realize that it was a mistake learn from it and move on. living in regret you end up living in the past and not in the present and dont focus or your future. i like to look at my past but not dwell on it and live in the present while i still plan for the future.
This whole idea of living in the real world got me thinking, when I was younger I always just wanted to grow up and be an "adult". Thinking back although i did enjoy my childhood and i had some great times i think for me personality i was kinda hit with reality when i was 15. for me at least that was the age where i was hit with a sneak peak of the real world.all I wanted to do once I was in 4th grade was to be in 6th grade so i can go to junior high. then from junior high once i was half way through seventh grade all i wanted was to be 15. being 15 to me meant one a quincenera, being hispanic and all, and being in high school. once i was in high school and i was 14 about to be 15 all i wanted to do is to be able to get a job. like i said before that was the age were i was kinda slapped with reality and was one forced to grow up and i was able to see that life isnt always what it seemed to be! growing up isnt a bad thing but when you are forced to grow up unwillingly you are kinda just how should i say this.... hmm.... you are faced to see the world in a new light. its not a bad thing at all it just makes you realize that things are not gummy bears and gum drops as you though they were.
now once i was 16 i was now looking into my future alot more and i tried to focus more one what i needed to do in order to be able to further my education. not to say that i wasnt thinking about it before it just because more pertanate at that time. going to school and turning 18 to me meant freedom, which i think that is what everyone thinks happens when your 18. once i was 18 all i can think of was getting away from home. not because i hated my family or anything of the sort. i love my family but i think just like every hispanic family or parents they can be very sufficating. that was the case for me. i just wanted to taste a different type of freedom. not to say that my parents didnt trust me growing up or they were over protective. no that wasnt the case at all. they were pretty mellow they gave me the right amount of freedom and they trusted me which made me not want to ruin that trust. but leaving for me at 18 was something i wanted to do just because i wanted to get away from the all the negative i had live through when i was 14 till then. leaving meant putting some distance between all the negative which is what i wanted even if it meant leaving my mom and siblings behind. Just like everyone once they turn 19 all they want to do is be 21!!! Why? being 21 means going out drinking having more fun than when u were 18, 19 or 20. for me at least this year i kinda rebeled kinda sorta not really but kinda. haha.
anyways now the point that i am trying to make is that when we are kinds growing up we look up to certain times or turning a certain age but at the same time looking forward to be a certain age or wanting to grow up so fast we dont get to enjoy certain moments as much as we should because we are wanting the time to fly by not realizing that by wanting this we miss out on things that we wont be able to experience.living in the real world is not a bad thing. that is basically what you are doing when you are growing up living life making mistakes and learning from them in order to be able to live in the real world. however, the real world is not as nice as lets say it seemed to be when we where kids. living in the real world means responsibility and being held accountable for what you do. thats all it is. living life and knowing that you have to be responsible so if you get an apartment/house/ or car that means you need to maintain your job in order to have a place to live, food to eat, and a car to drive to get you from point A to point B. If you decide to have a family you have to be responsible and have a job and be able to provide for that family. which means paying for doctors appointments and vitamins, this is while the cupcake is cooking in the oven. then once you have a kid making sure it has clothes, diapers, formula, you take it to the doctor, pay that hospital bill for just having a place to have it, having a car seat, a stroller, bottles, toys, a crib, blankets and i can just go on an on. but basically all it comes to is being responsible and being able to be accountable for what you do. so is the real world really that bad? no at least i dont think it is. it just come down to what you have lived and experienced. just having to be held responsible makes you look back at the days when you were a kid and you were expected to makes mistakes and now you are expected to know better and not do dumb things.
i personality live my life with no regrets or at least i try not to. i might regret doing or saying something but i then realize that it was a mistake learn from it and move on. living in regret you end up living in the past and not in the present and dont focus or your future. i like to look at my past but not dwell on it and live in the present while i still plan for the future.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
I was just thinking...
I decided to start this blog just because I was finding myself thinking about certain things in my life. I really don't think any one will actually read it but I think it will be a great way for me to just have something to do as well as to express myself.
I really wont follow any kind of process when it comes to writing I will just write it just like if I was talking to a friend. We'll see where it goes. If I talk about friends I wont disclose their names just for privacy but I will use nicknames. This way if they ever read it, which I find it very unlikely, its not like I put their business out there.
I really wont follow any kind of process when it comes to writing I will just write it just like if I was talking to a friend. We'll see where it goes. If I talk about friends I wont disclose their names just for privacy but I will use nicknames. This way if they ever read it, which I find it very unlikely, its not like I put their business out there.
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